The name Sarasweaty was inspired by the Hindu Goddess Saraswati. Saraswati is the Goddess of leaming, knowledge, music and the creative arts. The Sanskrit word sara means "essence" and swa means "self." Thus Saraswati means "the essence of the self."
For most of my adult life I have been searching for the essence of myself and in this search I, like Saraswati, have been a participant of learning and the arts. This path has lead me to my present career as a visual arts teacher. In my quest for knowledge and creative expression I learned about the mind and the spirit, but have many times neglected the BODY. I have choosen the name Sarasweaty to represent my focus on the body. This blog is dedicated to the transformation of my body image as I make an effort to honor it everyday through movement.
My goal is to put my body in to motion everyday for 20 minutes or longer. This could be in the form of walking, yoga, dancing, lifting weights, or even running! The only requirement is that the movement must be conscious. Simply walking from my classroom to the front office will not suffice as conscious movement. The motion needs to be a focus on my body and not just a mode of transportation.
I will start at DAY 1 and record my movement for that day and every consecutive day to follow. If there is ever a day I do not meet my 20 minutes of movement then I will start over. This is a journey of self discovery, which I hope will lead me to a sense of peace with my mind, BODY, and spirit. For now, it's time to sweat!!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Huge Realizations

Well this journey has not been easy. For some reason I had it in my mind that 20 minutes of daily conscious movement would be easy. No problem to get in 12, 13, or even 14 days, but so far my max consecutive days remains under a week.

It is so easy to not make time for yourself. We make all sorts of commitments for meetings, doctor appointments, coffee dates with friends, phone calls to parents, and we usually follow through with our plans. Why is it so difficult to break plans with another person yet it is so easy to break plans with yourself.

There were many times when I had made a date with myself to hit the gym, dance, or take a yoga class and many of those times I was stood up .... by myself!!! I know I am not the only one who does this. In fact, I think I would be correct in thinking that many of us do this. Our culture encourages a fast pace life full of schedules with agendas that do not include time for ourselves. Come to think of it, do we truly honor and respect a person when they take time for themselves or do we see them as selfish and proceed pour layers of guilt upon them???

For years I have not honored myself. I have not schedule the time to take care of me. When I did I would often change my mind and decided to watch TV or surf the internet instead. Loving yourself is just like being in a relationship. It takes patience, compassion, forgiveness, strength, courage, and work! I'm not sure I have ever truly loved myself. I know this sounds so dreary and depressing but I truly can't remember a day when I have not criticized myself in one way or another ... usually pertaining to my body. WoW! I would be overwhelmed counting every time I was uncomfortable in my own skin, feeling insecure about my arms, my hair, my belly. Because of this I have closed myself off to so many opportunities to shine! I have avoided so many situations just to hide my body, including sex!!

This is heavy stuff man! I don't want to carry this anymore. I want to make the time to love myself. I want to commit to the plans I make with myself and take the time honor my body. How would the world be different if we all truly loved ourselves? Think of how easy it would be to love each other.

20 minutes everyday is challenging, but after all of this deep reflection it sure seems to me that it is worth it!

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